28 days

The days are counting down and I’m getting more nervous every second.  I’m graduating in 28 days, I will finally have my degree after years of struggle. I am not exactly sure how I feel about my impending graduation. I don’t feel like I’ve made much use of my education. I still suck at writing. Commas, punctuation, and mechanics I still have issues with. My papers still suck and I’m so close to the end. I thought people were supposed to be overwhelming confident when they were due to graduate from college. People ask me, “are you going to grad school?” I don’t know if I’m really ready for grad school for three reasons: I can’t afford it (I don’t want to take out loans), the application process is long, and I have yet to sit the GRE. I’m just not sure if carrying on with my education is the right choice. Honestly, I have half a mind to go back and just redo everything. 

Right now, I’m wasting time watching The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel and trying to figure out game plans for 3 papers I have to write. I’m just not sure of things at the moment and I’m sure it’s because graduation is so near. What am I going to do after I get my diploma? I have no idea. 

3 thoughts on “28 days”

  1. Chris, just stumbled onto your blog. I don’t know what you should do after graduation but I will tell you this: every writer is insecure, every writer thinks his/her writing sucks, every writer worries about his/her future. Sounds like you’re a writer to me. 🙂 Best of luck to you!

  2. This post made me smile because most people wonder what comes next and how to use the degree they no longer have confidence in.

    If you are going to worry, make it count. Why did you pick your major in the first place? Be honest so you’ll have something to think about. Now — is that reason still a good one for you? Can you fulfill whatever you hoped to get out of the major even with a new direction? Do you just love stories and wish it hadn’t come with all that analysis? There are professions that need a storyteller, even if that isn’t what they’d call it. Is it certain kinds of stories you love? If so, aren’t there publishers or gaming designers that need your depth?

    Make a list of what you want your day to look like based on the skills you know you DO have. If punctuation and grammar still scare you, don’t try for an editor’s job. In the entry levels, it is often like grading papers and you’d hate it. However, you sound like you’d be great in a publicist’s job because you like people and you seem so easy in your skin. Confident people skills is a fabulous job skill.

    One more suggestion: get thee to the alumni association. They are usually a fantastic resource for meeting people who have jobs you might want. Then you could ask those folks about what skills you will need to enter their business, what they think of the industry, what direction they see technology taking their job, etc. Soon you’ll have several people with jobs who know and like you,and that will really help your search. The association almost certainly maintains a jobs board, so it’s a good way to start talking to someone in that office.

    Good luck!

  3. Goodnight, man. What luck?
    I’m an English major, too. I am walking this same road. It’s long and uphill! I don’t have much advice other than I am in the same inkwell. I am going into my last year, and I feel stagnated with my education. I keep thinking to myself, “where is the progression?” I can’t see it. I’ve been reading over my B essay all afternoon. It’s covered in red–a lot of red. Yikes! I’ve always been told never to go backwards, and if money is a problem, I –damn– sure wouldn’t go backwards. I would, however, checkout your local community college. They will sometimes let students sit in the classroom and relearn the basics. It can help. Plus you’ll see some writers that are below you in writing. It sounds bad, but you need to meet bad writers. It shows you that you are not the worst. Haha. There are plenty of bad books out there. As a matter of fact, I just read one. It was horrible. Trust me.
    In relation to your education/ graduation, I am sure you’ve had some hard ass professors before, and they wouldn’t pass you if you sucked. You are graduating because you’ve made it. ((Congratulations! YOU’VE MADE IT!! : ) )) You’ve done something right. You may get by sometimes on the skin of your teeth, but I don’t think it would be every single time.
    Pat yourself on the back, bro. It’s okay. All students freak out. I am freaking out now. I am also procrastinating my essay for some person over the internet. I need to get back at it. It won’t write itself.
    You’re NOT alone,
    Kayla : )

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