I never enjoy talking to people about my problems, I always feel like I’m burdening people when I dish about my issues: stress, emotional and mental problems, etc. Today was different. I didn’t have much hope for my second counseling session, but I was my unease was quickly swept aside by a gentle soul who, thankfully, listened to me. Going back some fifteen years, I realized that the emotional and verbal abuse that I had endured for years was taking a toll on me in the present day. My mind continually remembers and replays the emotional distress caused by a father who sent me mixed messages a child: at once ridiculing me and then telling me he “loves me.” The confusion was absolute. Today my social worker enlightened me, “Chris, get rid of the garbage,” she said. “You’ve been carrying around this garbage of negativity and cynicism that happened so many years ago, let it go,” she implored me. “Get to know yourself, find out what you want to do.”
No longer do I have to please other people. I need to find out what want to do, and do it.
I was nervous about letting my guard down and talking to someone. I find now that it is a most liberating experience.