“Write,” she said.

I have to hand it to my mother, she has always had my back. Regardless of what has happened in my life she has been there, cheering me on or giving me much needed encouragement. “You’re a good writer,” she said to me other day. I replied with my typical self-deprecating response, “but my grammar sucks.” I love the way she responded, “so what, not everyone has great grammar. Everyone makes mistakes” she said this quite earnestly too. “You want to be a writer, so write. Write a book, do album and theatre reviews” she exclaimed.

Write a book?! I’ve been jotting down stuff about my life for years. In fact, my own “memoir” has had a working title for nearly ten years. I remember I had a Xanga account years and years ago, and that is where my first thoughts were published – that account has since been deleted. Funny, Xanga and LiveJournal were so popular back in 2003. Now, the once popular blog sites have given way to things like Tumblr and WordPress.

I remember having a germ of an idea I thought might make a good murder mystery, it had something to do with a garden?! I don’t know, maybe I will get back to it one of these days. How does one even go about writing or even drafting a book?!

I enjoy writing I just don’t do it enough. I always feel like I’m all out of ideas. What do people post on blogs? “Today, I had a salad.” or even more prosaic, “Here’s a picture I took on Instagram” (oops, I’m guilty of that).

Here lately, I’ve been posting about my frustrations on the job market. I want to be successful and make something of myself. I have experience in various fields and a college degree; however, even a degree doesn’t guarantee a job anymore.

I’m also considering going back to school for a degree in Mass Communication, seriously I am.

I want to go into television, to be more exact, I want to produce television shows and specials for PBS. Ever since I saw one my favorite  specials, Some Enchanted Evening: Celebrating Oscar Hammerstein II in 1995, I was hooked. I loved the production values, the cast, the music – everything. Sadly, the great moments from Great Performances, which is now entering its 40th season on PBS  have never been released on DVD or VHS for that matter. I want to change that. I love the arts, and I so long to be part of public television.

Goodness, forgive me the desultory sidetrack into my future plans. Yes, I need to write and so I shall..

28 days

The days are counting down and I’m getting more nervous every second.  I’m graduating in 28 days, I will finally have my degree after years of struggle. I am not exactly sure how I feel about my impending graduation. I don’t feel like I’ve made much use of my education. I still suck at writing. Commas, punctuation, and mechanics I still have issues with. My papers still suck and I’m so close to the end. I thought people were supposed to be overwhelming confident when they were due to graduate from college. People ask me, “are you going to grad school?” I don’t know if I’m really ready for grad school for three reasons: I can’t afford it (I don’t want to take out loans), the application process is long, and I have yet to sit the GRE. I’m just not sure if carrying on with my education is the right choice. Honestly, I have half a mind to go back and just redo everything. 

Right now, I’m wasting time watching The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel and trying to figure out game plans for 3 papers I have to write. I’m just not sure of things at the moment and I’m sure it’s because graduation is so near. What am I going to do after I get my diploma? I have no idea.