Déjà vu

It seems like I have been in this position before – I have recently graduated from college and now I am looking for job. Yes, I have been in this same position before. Only this time I have graduated with my third degree, a second bachelor’s degree, and I am still finding it very difficult to find a job, or actually any job for that matter.

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This is exactly how I feel right now.

It is so frustrating to continually put out my resume, applications, cover letters and the like in hopes, extraordinarily desperate hope, that something will pan out. Sadly, I have found myself getting feedback on jobs in the realm of marketing. I do not have a degree in marketing. My second degree is in new media communication, with an emphasis in social media/new media. However, jobs along those lines are few and far between.

I have my resume everywhere. Literally, everywhere. Monster, Indeed, CareerBuilder, LinkedIn and anywhere else I can think of. I’m constantly trying to figure things out and asking things like: “Why can I get land a job that compliments my degree?” “What am I doing wrong?” I am having huge doubts about my ability to land a good job, specially with how hard I’m trying. I graduated nearly two months ago. According to research and a seminar class I took during my last semester, it takes anywhere from three to five months to find a job after graduation. I’m very impatient. I want a career. I want to be able to make money, pay off bills.

I want a job!!! Hire me.

 

phugoid motion

It’s great when you’re married and yet life seems to be in a downward spiral. You’re struggling to find a job even though you have countless applications out, and even though you go to interviews you don’t get second or third appointments. Your husband works more than 70 hours a week and is exhausted. You have no time together, no time or money for anything special and even barely enough money to pay for every day essentials. Your husband is trying his best to work, even though he has an illness that may never fully go away, and yet he arrives home mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted.

I spend sleepless nights filling out job applications, cleaning the kitchen, doing laundry hoping, praying, begging for positive things to happen, for there to be light at the end of what has been a very, very long and aphotic tunnel.

I am so tired of people saying “hang in there” or “be positive.” Until you’ve lived the life my husband and I have — when you’re drowning in debt, unsure of how you’re going to pay the bills, put food on the table, or when it seems like your dreams and hopes are continually buried under bills and notices, please do not say a word.

We are doing what we can, but it isn’t enough. I have no idea where I am going wrong on job applications or interviews. I wish I knew where I was going wrong, seriously. I  hate feeling like I am doing nothing to help. I understand my lack of a job, or any real working experience is contributing to this mess, not mention putting Cleve in an early grave.