The Reluctant Blogger

I don’t blog as much as I should or would like to. One reason is because not enough goes on in my life to warrant blogging everyday. Yes I’m a college senior, and yes I’m looking for a job – but does that warrant blogging about all of life’s ups and downs? I don’t think so. Another reason why I don’t blog much is because I’m afraid to. I hesitate in blogging because in the back of my mind I’m thinking, “Oh god, someone is critiquing my grammar, and I’m supposed to be an English major.” (Aren’t people studying English supposed to write well?) I could always throw caution to the wind and make all sorts of grammatical errors and mistakes. Trouble is, I want to improve my  English and make less mistakes. I’ve never turned in a paper that didn’t have comma splices or sentence fragments. I know it takes time to improve technique, but I’m impatient. I want to be a writer when I “grow up” and I’m even considering going after a Masters Degree in English, but am I truly ready for it?!

I’m due to graduate in December and I’m highly considering taking the GRE. Yet I’m stopped by my own fears and concerns that I’m not academically up to snuff. Although I am excited for my last semester, (I’m taking a lot of cool classes that I truly am looking forward to,) again I am not too thrilled with ending my undergrad career with all of these questions about my future.

On a brighter note, I had my prescreen interview with Friday afternoon. I was nervous about it,  having never previously experienced a telephone interview. It went really well and I’m pretty sure I answered all the questions appropriately, if I had not I’m sure the lady I talked to wouldn’t have bothered asking for my “proof of education.”  Still I applied for a warehouse job, meaning I would be on my feet for more than eight hours a day walking upwards of five to ten miles daily, not to mention lifting 30 pounds or more. I’ve done my research and the pay is comparable to what I made during my summer job two years ago. 11.50 an hour with the possibility of being hired as a full-time Amazon employee (after a probationary period). Honestly, I’m really excited about the prospect of getting this job. I really want to work. I remember when I was in high school, my grandparents wanted me to get a job, and I dodged the idea left and right. All these years later with the economy still in the toilet and nearing graduation, I regret my actions all those years ago. I should already have a job that I’m successful at. No use crying over spilt milk, but the sting of my decision still smarts.

This week marks the end of my Spanish 2020 summer course. If I complete the final successfully (not if but when) this thursday, I will put my foreign language requirement to bed. After more than two years, I’m anxious in being rid of this Spanish monkey on my back. Today will be spent doing flashcards and ensuring I know the vocabulary and the grammar. It’s been a wild ride, but one I will be happy to see end.

July will see me back on campus taking a poetry writing course, so I will not have a chance to take a breath before the fall semester starts in August. That’s okay though, I had a break in May between the spring and fall semesters.

I still hope to make a dent in the backlog of books I have in my room. I have so many books I’ve either purchased or received as gifts that I’ve not been able to either start or finish.

To be honest, there’s a lot on my “to do” list but will I have time to do all the things I want to?! Who knows.

First things first though, must get a start on those Spanish flashcards.

Posted using Tinydesk Writer iPhone app

Spanish and cleaning a bookcase

So this week marks the “half-way” point in the four weeks of Spanish 2020 that I’m currently enrolled in. What is strange about this course is that it is four weeks, instead of the customary five weeks allotted for most summer classes. This means that instead of going fast, this class is going a break neck speed. A quiz every wednesday and tests on Thursdays. We still have at least three chapters to cover and we have two weeks left. Oh well, it will happen regardless. 

Spanish and I have something of a fair-weather friendship. I like it when it cooperates with my brain, but when it doesn’t gel in my brain, I hate it. I remember last fall when I was taking Spanish 2010 (after a over a year of no instruction in the language) I had an all out panic attack because I didn’t understand how to conjugate or how to appropriately form sentences. Not helping matters was the professor I had, who was (to put it frankly) a complete asshole. I kept failing everything and my stress levels reached historic highs. 

This spring was a different story. A different class dynamic. A different professor, and a slower speed. I understood the material and made a respectable grade. 

This summer I’m enrolled in Spanish 2020 and I cannot wait to be free of my foreign language requirement. Although I enjoy the language, I much prefer my own English language. My professor (who is a delightful lady) was talking in class yesterday how she is doing a literature class in Spanish classics, it’s a 4000 level class. I foolishly asked “en espanol?” to which she replied “si.” I wouldn’t mind reading Don Quixote but a complete class in Espanol exclusively?! No, Gracias. 

Besides studying my spanish and applying for jobs, I’ve also taken some time out to clean out my bookcase and my desk. I usually don’t touch desk or my bookcase because I always find old books, papers and files that I want to keep. 

Going back through the old books and files, memories flood back in waves. Music appreciation, theatre appreciation and countless Norton Anthologies with my handwritten notes in the margins. I always keep the books I love and I’ve discovered a problem, I don’t have enough space. I need at least two more bookshelves, why stop at just two though? I need a room devoted to my books, my own veritable library, isn’t that every English majors’ dream – their own proper library?!