I got on the scale this morning and was stunned by the number that I saw. 214.2 – two hundred and fourteen pounds. I’ve not been this heavy since I was probably in my early twenties.
Admittedly, the last few weeks and months have been stressful. Sadly, not sleeping well, and having little or no energy, has made exercising almost impossible. It dawned on me what I was doing only after, after, I had a loaded baked potato at 1:00 this morning. Stress has taken my life hostage, and the trouble with finding a full-time job has made matters worse.
I eat when I’m bored, I eat when I can’t sleep. I constantly crave sweets or a combination of salty and sweet. My go-to snack has been those trail mix bars with the chocolate in them. I feel so guilty. I’m frustrated and angry, I vowed I would never return to the 200s.
It’s been said the first step in any recovery is admitting you have a problem. “Hello, my name is Chris – I am a stress eater.” I suppose that is nearly the same as being an overeater, which, I guess, would make me a perfect candidate for Overeaters Anonymous.
Ironically, my boyfriend and I poke fun at each other about our individual weight issues. We will squeal like pigs and make ‘oink’ sounds whenever we eat something unhealthy. The joke is on us. Here lately I find all of it, the jokes and other garbage, stupid and particularly hurtful. I guess it’s only fitting since the scale confirmed my worst fear – weight gain.
I can’t stand the way I feel anymore, sluggish, lethargic, sad, depressed, stressed, worried.
I need help…