How did I earn my B.A?

I graduated from college in 2012 with a Bachelors degree in English. I am now close to completing a second degree in Mass Communication with an emphasis on New Media Communication. Even though I am loving my classes, I am still plagued by comma problems. I do not know how I earned a B.A. writing so inefficiently as I do.  Is it possible to write but not know how to proofread your own work? I feel like that is where I am now. I’m in a PR writing class and for example, one of my assignments, a feature story on a real life client, was returned with an awful grade and bleeding with red pen. I have tried not to beat myself up over it but it hurts. Not being able to proof effectively or watch out for comma stumbling blocks is truly embarrassing. I can only imagine how grammatically incorrect the posts here are, but it is my blog and I make the rules; however, in the real word grammar errors are not cute. Grammar errors look awful on resumes, cover letters, reports and so on.

So what is the big deal. What is my problem?

Upcoming things

I’ve been away for a while, I apologize.

I’ve had a lot of things come up here of late, so I’ve been neglecting my blog.

Here’s what I’ve got going on in my life:

  • October 7: Orientation (Amazon) 7:00 to 3:00p.m.
  • October 11: BARBRA STREISAND: Back to Brooklyn 7:00p.m.
  • October 20: First day of work

I’m also doing research on two term papers that are due the 23rd and 1st of November.

First, I’m doing research for my formal essay in Grammar class. I’d like to talk about comma splices, and the difficulties some people have with proofreading their own work.

But as I’m doing my research, I’ve come a bitter understanding: I suck at English. I suck at writing grammatical sentences. I’ve even started to question why I majored in English in the first place.

It annoys me, angers me, and pisses me off when I see friends of mine excelling at academic writing. I have never been able to write an error free paper; although, I have tried over the past 5 years to educate myself on my own grammar pitfalls. Nothing ever seems to stick.

I had a grammar exam tuesday and I don’t know the results until next week.

I feel so lost right now.

Broken

I’ve been in school for six years, I’m due to graduate in December with a BA in English.

Last night, I was told in no uncertain terms (by a college chum) that my grammar, frankly, sucks. It’s like the last few years of college have been for nothing. It’s no wonder no one reads my tumblr or my wordpress. It’s also no surprise that the school news paper, Sidelines doesn’t want me writing for them anymore.

I have known that my grammar is shit for a long time. I’ve tried to fix it, but I can’t seem to get the hang of grammar rules. I still have severe issues with comma splices etc, etc.

It was suggested to me that I take a Grammar and Usage class, given at MTSU.

It’s important that serious writers master this crucial and complex task, and I know you would benefit from it

I don’t know what to do now. I couldn’t stand the Modern English Grammar and Usage class when I had it two years ago, because I made such a dismal grade, and the constant diagramming of sentences drove me nuts.

I wish people would have told me that English wasn’t strong suit before I had entered college. I could have saved money and wasted less time.

I’ve always wanted to be a writer, but I guess that’s not in the cards.

The Reluctant Blogger

I don’t blog as much as I should or would like to. One reason is because not enough goes on in my life to warrant blogging everyday. Yes I’m a college senior, and yes I’m looking for a job – but does that warrant blogging about all of life’s ups and downs? I don’t think so. Another reason why I don’t blog much is because I’m afraid to. I hesitate in blogging because in the back of my mind I’m thinking, “Oh god, someone is critiquing my grammar, and I’m supposed to be an English major.” (Aren’t people studying English supposed to write well?) I could always throw caution to the wind and make all sorts of grammatical errors and mistakes. Trouble is, I want to improve my  English and make less mistakes. I’ve never turned in a paper that didn’t have comma splices or sentence fragments. I know it takes time to improve technique, but I’m impatient. I want to be a writer when I “grow up” and I’m even considering going after a Masters Degree in English, but am I truly ready for it?!

I’m due to graduate in December and I’m highly considering taking the GRE. Yet I’m stopped by my own fears and concerns that I’m not academically up to snuff. Although I am excited for my last semester, (I’m taking a lot of cool classes that I truly am looking forward to,) again I am not too thrilled with ending my undergrad career with all of these questions about my future.

On a brighter note, I had my prescreen interview with Amazon.com Friday afternoon. I was nervous about it,  having never previously experienced a telephone interview. It went really well and I’m pretty sure I answered all the questions appropriately, if I had not I’m sure the lady I talked to wouldn’t have bothered asking for my “proof of education.”  Still I applied for a warehouse job, meaning I would be on my feet for more than eight hours a day walking upwards of five to ten miles daily, not to mention lifting 30 pounds or more. I’ve done my research and the pay is comparable to what I made during my summer job two years ago. 11.50 an hour with the possibility of being hired as a full-time Amazon employee (after a probationary period). Honestly, I’m really excited about the prospect of getting this job. I really want to work. I remember when I was in high school, my grandparents wanted me to get a job, and I dodged the idea left and right. All these years later with the economy still in the toilet and nearing graduation, I regret my actions all those years ago. I should already have a job that I’m successful at. No use crying over spilt milk, but the sting of my decision still smarts.

This week marks the end of my Spanish 2020 summer course. If I complete the final successfully (not if but when) this thursday, I will put my foreign language requirement to bed. After more than two years, I’m anxious in being rid of this Spanish monkey on my back. Today will be spent doing flashcards and ensuring I know the vocabulary and the grammar. It’s been a wild ride, but one I will be happy to see end.

July will see me back on campus taking a poetry writing course, so I will not have a chance to take a breath before the fall semester starts in August. That’s okay though, I had a break in May between the spring and fall semesters.

I still hope to make a dent in the backlog of books I have in my room. I have so many books I’ve either purchased or received as gifts that I’ve not been able to either start or finish.

To be honest, there’s a lot on my “to do” list but will I have time to do all the things I want to?! Who knows.

First things first though, must get a start on those Spanish flashcards.

Posted using Tinydesk Writer iPhone app

Aggravated

So. Next week is the last week of classes, before exams take place. Unfortunately my British Literature class received their take home essays back this evening. I made a C. Okay, I thought I was finished with getting shitty (excuse me,) grades on essays? It still comes down to the sour truth of: I don’t proof read enough, and I don’t happen to have an editor. I could take my paper to the “Writing Center” on campus, but those individuals refuse to assist in editing. Obviously taking pity on undergraduates isn’t something people do anymore. Never mind that we’ve had count them 2 grades in this class. Our first test I only passed because our professor (whom shall remain nameless) graded it on a curve. 

He declared to the class,  “You’re lucky no one made an F.” Not much of a saving grace.. 

Why do professors have to be so anal about things? 

Always trying to fix things

I’m always trying to improve my writing. Yet, I find myself always stumbling around the same mechanical and grammatical errors. I don’t know what to do. Frankly, I suck at proofing and editing my own work, and that doesn’t bode well come term paper time. I usually get C’s and B’s on my papers because I cannot get the hang of things. 

Here’s where I get lost: 

  • Comma overuse: how to combat using the comma, too much.
  • Semicolons: is there an easily way to remember when to use this punctuation? 
  • Comma Splicethese things kill my papers, how does one get rid of them? 


There is hope for me, right?! Any assistance/suggestions/thoughts/encouragement would be greatly appreciated. 

One day at a time.

Stress is like a rash.

If you let it go too long, it turns into something nasty.

Well, I’ve succeeded in doing just that. Stress has all but taken up residence in my mind, body, and spirit. I feel so lost at this current moment. I’ve made a firm decision to take it easy and not try to push so hard to finish my degree. I’m just going to let it happen as it will. If that means extending my time past what I’ve penciled in on next year’s calendar, so be it. I’m tired of people telling me when I could and should reach goals that I set out for myself. The only person that should be outlining a date to “finish” college is me.

The anxiety is eating me alive, shutting down my self-confidence and ability to make rational decisions. I can’t figure out where it’s coming from. What’s worse is I’m floundering in a subject that I adore, my major – English.

I’m not going to discuss what occurred today in my American Literature class. But, suffice it to say the presentation I was due to give on Ralph Waldo Emerson was, a shambles. I wasn’t prepared to go first, and the professor’s assurance that he knew the material backward and forward made me so nervous. It’s as if he was poking me, seeing if I would fold like a deck of cards. I did. Later, I walked out of the class dejected and horrifically embarrassed.

I never thought walking outside and crying could make me feel simultaneous pain and joy. Pain that I did so horribly, but happiness that I was finally allowing myself to given in to  the emotions that have been so overwhelming these past several weeks.

Everything was fine, until August arrived.

All I can do is push forward and keep going.

However, tonight will be better as my boyfriend is coming to console me. I can’t express how much of a help he is. Always being so thoughtful, calming me down. He always has suggestions and always offers to come to my aid. What did I ever do to deserve someone so wonderful?! It’s times like these, when life’s stresses seem to always send us over the edge, we need someone to comfort us.

To my friends: thank you for being there for me. I love you all so very much, each and everyone of you are my rock. My tether to the earth, to sanity. Thank you for allowing me to vent, cry, scream, throw things and curse. It doesn’t get anything done, but it sure does feel good!